Young Chris tries to buy his middle school girlfriend an anniversary present. Blaine shows up early for a party. By like 8 days. || Audio from The Rooster Teeth Podcast #325.

Burnie recalls the story of when his college friends kidnapped the Texas A&M mascot, and the ensuing manhunt which followed. || Audio from The Rooster Teeth Podcast #250.

Miles talks about a weird dad (not his) who maybe used to kill people..? || Audio from The Rooster Teeth Podcast #351.

Geoff has another unsuccessful sex dream, this time with Jenny Slate. Maybe it's a thing with Jenny's? || Audio from Let's Play Minecraft #184.

After encountering a dog whose job is to sniff for food, Burnie wonders how cushy a job that dog must have compared to other dog jobs. I just like saying dog job over and over. Dog job. || Audio from RT Podcast #354

Josh comes across a very... forward stripper with a German accent and can't get away. She should hang out with Darque Chocolate. || Audio from RT Podcast #353

Miles goes on a date, and things are going well, until he screws it up by switching two words. Audio from Sponsor Play - The Evil Within Part 5.

Geoff tells the story about how one time he hit a deer and had no idea what to do. Then somehow makes the situation even worse.

Josh talks about his awesome threesome he had, and how it quickly became not that awesome. Spoiler alert: Poop is involved.

Blaine recounts a tale of how he tried to be funny by farting on Gus and just embarrassed himself, and Burnie talks about the lengths Blaine will go to in order to get a girl to talk to him. Sad.

Joel struggles to prove his worth to both security and guardians at RTX Australia, but just can't seem to get into the building. Is he even the real Joel Heyman? How can we be sure?

Geoff and Ryan recount some of their antics from back when they were bored teens living in lame southern towns. Geoff, as you can imagine, does some stuff that's way more screwed up.

Burnie and Gavin stay at a nice Airbnb with a cool fireplace, but when they go to use it, Gavin realizes the landlord might have left something behind.

Gus talks about reaching new heights (or lows) in his human interactions when ordering groceries. Gavin poses the question to the guys about the recovery position, but nobody knows what the hell that is.

In this edition of Gavin or Google, Burnie covers accidental furniture assembly, or possible cases of bestiality. Which stupid thing did Gavin say? Let's find out!

This is the story all about how Geoff's life got flipped turned upside down. So I'd like to take a minute, lemme tell you what, this is exactly how Geoff got a dildo up his butt.

Gavin and Lindsay play ABCs of storytelling, where he tries to save some hostages by acquiring some Care Bears for Lindsay.

Gus and Geoff go to a bar to get some daiquiris, and amuse themselves by starting a fight between two waitresses.

Burnie discusses the rampant nonexistent dolphin poaching issue among the Rooster Teeth audience.

Michael talks about how his neighbor's cat always comes to visit them, and Lindsay's obsession with being its friend despite the less-than-hygenic locations it frequents.

Gus and Burnie discuss the notion of a "best friend."; Geoff pranks his friend Frank by making Griffon pretend to be his girlfriend.

The AH guys think about what they'd do if they had the Transformers element that transforms into anything. Not surprisingly, it mostly has to do with torturing Gavin.

Gavin and Geoff hypothesize what a world where your boners made sounds would be like. They also talk about the hottest cast member from the hit '90s sitcom Friends. Who is yours? Comment below.

Geoff confuses Millie about flip flops, Kerry wonders what a life in Japan would be like, and Chris talks about his master plan to become a Ninja Turtle.

Blaine scores with a girl who claims to be a virgin, but finds out later that maybe she was lying. Come to think of it, this is a weird story to tell, why did we animate this?

While trying to film intros for the podcast, Gus pretends to poop in an alley, but accidentally fronts on a homeless dude's pooping turf and things get awkward.

Michael spots a dude eating a bagel on his flight and quickly goes from coveting the man's bounty of bagel to being disgusted by the despicable state in which it ends up.

The intern makes a grave misstep while bringing food to the hungry podcast crew, and Gavin presents a third option to dealing with the remains of dead people: make them trees.

This week, someone tries to guess Gus' race, Kyle and Miles ponder the certainties in life, and Burnie defends Superman's biggest weakness. Let's be real though, standing next to a rock making you lose your powers is pretty lame. Fight me, nerds.

Miles goes on a zombie run, but it turns out to be less of a run and more of a fall-on-your-ass for him. Embarrassing.