Bad news, sir. The aliens are INTJ, and we’re ENTP. Totally incompatible.

If Grant is taller than Katie, but shorter than Zac, but Katie is taller than Zac… What the fuck is happening?!

But seriously, how tall is he?

We love having Raph around the office. On another note, why is the new janitor pitching sketches?

Oh god, next he’ll tell us how bad traffic was….

The guy who has trouble reading has us in the palm of his hand!

Oh, I lived in Chicago, but only in a small locked room.

This is dark, ancient magic.

Uhhh’ one second, I’ve got a GoFundMe page that I need to delete.

At least I have all my clothes on this time.

DMT’s still legal though, right?

The saliva activates the crystals.

Quiet down, guys! There’s a new girl, so we gotta be nice.

Oh, Grant.

Fly to Maui for two days? Sure!

Hi, it’s me, the person who completely misses the point, here to tell you, men get murdered, too.

Ahh! My glass menagerie!

I shouldn’t need to refill my gas tank on the way to your house.

“Just be yourself” only works if you’re like, super cool to begin with.

When you don’t hear what someone said to you, sometimes the best plan is to just throw yourself into a ravine.

You wouldn’t want to be rude, would you? We didn’t think so.

Not caring about anything is surprisingly annoying.

So Ally’s the hot new cheese on the pizza, is she? Oh, you boys!

The standoff to show once and for all who is the bigger garbage person: Rekha or Ally.

He’s like Stretch Armstrong left in a car console on a hot summer day.

You don’t know how to swim? But it’s so easy! Just jump in the water and swim! See? So easy.

Lenjamin hypes stuff up just a little too much. A BLT didn’t “change your life,” man.

Why can’t we just drink and hang out? Jeez, what are you, a close friend of mine?

Make up your mind, health nuts! Next, you’ll say cigarettes are bad for me!

Raph’s not a fan of our Jake and Amir dolls, even though they’re made with Jake and Amir’s real hair and skin.