1
I can’t raise my hand. I’m allergic to effort.
2
Magazines are sooo heavy. Especially the ones with pictures of fat people.
3
Can’t sleep? Count sheepskin boots.
4
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house… I was shuffling around chain smoking and trying on different shoes.
5
War – what is it good for? Cute uniforms.
6
She’s a rock star of David.
7
It’s freezing cold under all these layers.
8
Sing along! Actually no, just find my phone.
9
Start the morning with a gallon of joe.
10
It’s always the bodyguard you least suspect.
11
I fought the law and the law was a jerk face.
Is this the duckface of a criminal?
13
Mary-Kate deals with life in the slammer.
14
Mary-Kate loves shiny appliances! And by that she means sweaty laborers.
15
Mary-Kate and Bodyguard may have effed up and effed.
16
Butler stays abreast of Maggie Smith’s love life.
17
Mary-Kate goes to sleep to the soothing sounds of a yelling professor.
18
Mary-Kate sabotages Professor in front of the school board.
19
First one to fall asleep gets a hand in warm Pellegrino.
20
Take once per day with a picture of food.
21
Mary-Kate’s cat meows out against drugs.
22
Mary-Kate challenges Bodyguard to some 1am Pictionary.
23
When Maggie Smith’s teacup goes handle-less, everyone’s a suspect.
24
Mary-Kate gets lost indoors and has to crack out her survival skills.