Granville decides it's high time he did something about his single status and places an advert in the lonely hearts column. He actually gets a result but of course he feels he has to lie about himself to the girl in question and presents himself as a yuppie. Leave it to his beloved uncle to ruin it for him.

Arkwright has a rival: corner shop owner Mr Gupta, so he sends Granville undercover – in a sari – to check him out. Arkwright believes he can get one over on his rival by selling him a load of genuine Yorkshire clotheshorses but he has reckoned without Gupta's business skills.

Arkwright believes that he can make Nurse Gladys jealous if he has a live-in housekeeper. This only succeeds in attracting the attention of Mrs Featherstone, the Black Widow herself!

Anxious to impress boutique girl Stephanie ('with a P-H!'), Granville passes himself off as a young executive, claiming that Arkwright is his junior assistant. Unsurprisingly, his uncle is less than happy with this idea.

Nurse Gladys and Granville play a trick on Arkwright, persuading the shopkeeper that a man representing the Good Shopkeepers' Guide is in the area, awarding bonuses to shops whose staff show extra courtesy. Gladys goes undercover as a male inspector and visits, where she is greeted with unusual civility.

Ever persistent to worm his way into Nurse Gladys' bedroom as well as her affections, Arkwright finds that flattery and chocolates are no use. But he's got a cunning plan to use Granville to impersonate a burglar, wearing a stocking mask to scare Gladys so that Arkwright can come running... into her room.